Regular

elsinore-and-inverness:

Them: I have a 500 word paper that I-

English Major: 500 words? That’s not a paper. That’s an abstract. Where’s the rest of it? WHERE IS IT. 

Them: I got a text from-

English Major: A text? What devices does it use? How does it mean? Why does it mean? HOW DO TEXTS MEAN?

Them: You need to turn right.

English Major: Write. Write. Write like you’re running out of time. WRITE DAY AND NIGHT LIKE YOU’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. 

Them: I have to do a review of literature for this lab repor-

English Major: You don’t review the literature. You ENGAGE with it. EXAMINE it. RESPOND to it.

Them: I’m allergic to bee-

English Major: TO BE OR NOT TO BE THAT IS THE QUESTION WHETHER TIS NOBLER IN THE MIND TO SUFFER THE SLINGS AND ARROWS OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE OR TO TAKE ARMS AGAINST A